In some stores you find a section of merchandise at greatly reduced prices. Each price tag carries the same words: as is. This is a euphemistic way of saying, "These are damaged goods."
"You're going to find a flaw here: a stain that won't come out; a zipper that won't zip; a button that won't butt - there will be a problem. These items are not normal. We're not going to tell you where the flaw is. You'll have to look for it."
When you deal with human beings, you have come to the "as-is" section. We live under the illusion that somewhere out there are people who are normal. In the movie "As Good As It Gets", Helen Hunt is wracked by ambivalence towards Jack Nicholson. He is kind and generous to her and her sick son, but he is also agoraphobic, obsessive-compulsive, and terminally offensive. In desperation, Helen finally cries to her mother: "I just want a normal boyfriend." "Oh," her mother responds in empathy, "everybody wants that, dear. It doesn't exist."
Don’t make the mistake of assuming somebody does't have a messy and uncertain internal life. We all do. Normal? There's no such thing! Don’t make the mistake of comparing someone else's external life to your internal life. Each person’s life appears coherent and certain from the outside. Everyone is normal till you get to know them. Feeling better now?
