Tuesday, November 21, 2023

It's a jungle out there

 

 

Adrian Monk is afraid of 312 things, including germs, milk, ladybugs, harmonicas, heights, asymmetry, enclosed spaces, foods touching on his plate, messes, frogs, snakes, risk, and many more. The OCD and phobias cause problems for him and anyone around him.

Apart from acrophobia (that's an extreme or irrational fear of heights, Des!), I have none of Monk's problems: despite being a (former) German, I have no problems with germs. I also drink milk by the gallon (well, by the litre, really) and I believe there are far too few ladybugs around.

Instead, I suffer from GPS, or grammar pedantry syndrome. Hearing someone say "someone put their head around the door" sounds to me as if there were two bodies and one head, like in some frightful Russian scientific experiment. After all, someone, everyone and no-one are singular pronouns to be followed by a singular possessive pronoun.

There are some 125 episodes of "Monk", of which I have season 1 and 2, or twenty-nine episodes, on DVD. Having watched all of them, and with nothing else to do, I decided to look up my plastic surgeon's website.

There, just above the ©-footing, I read the warning "The website is restricted to individuals under 18 years of age." Shouldn't that be "restricted to individuals OVER 18 years of age"? And should I tell her?

If I do, will she bar me from further consultations or give me a free one?