An early Christmas present for an astute buyer

 

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Already more than two years ago, the Valuer-General's Land Valuation of the LAND ALONE was $2,637,000 (and is probably already outdated by now) which means that for just another 15% extra you get yourself a massive two-storey brick residence and all the many other improvements added to it over the past thirty years.

This one-of-a-kind absolute waterfront freehold property set in parkland totalling some seven acres stretches for over 400 metres along the Clyde River offers serenity and tranquility by the bucketload. Located on the edge of the historic town of Nelligen, "Riverbend" is a private paradise only ten minutes away from the bustling resort town of Batemans Bay.

After owning this incredible property for over thirty years, the present owners are ready to say their final goodbyes in the hope that it will attract a buyer who will also treasure this slice of paradise. "It's a place of true beauty and discovery, and for making new magical memories, and we will absolutely miss it for many reasons", they say, but old age is forcing them to downsize. "We now wish to pass this little slice of paradise onto someone else to enjoy this incredible lifestyle."

As for the price, at just a touch over three million dollars, you'd be buying this wonderful lifestyle property at just about land value - and you know what they say about land, don't you? "They don't make any more!" With town water and sewerage connected by the end of this year, land values can go only one way: UP!

Land valuation and price aside, what the property is all about is location, location, location! The tranquillity, the absolute privacy and beauty of the river draw you to it. If you are looking for an idyllic lifestyle where the only alarm clock in the morning is a bunch of kookaburras, where you can sit on a huge verandah overlooking the river and watch amazing sunsets, and where you are serenaded to sleep at night by the sound of frogs, you will love it here. If you thought that it was no longer possible to find paradise on earth, think again!"

 

 

2,308 clicks and 29 email inquiries in seven months isn't exactly record-breaking, so I thought I spruik up my advertisement a little bit. I think "An early Christmas present for an astute buyer" should do the trick.

 

The sameness! The sameness!

 

 

Some days it feels like a toss-up between Kurtz's "The horror! The horror!" in "Heart of Darkness" and Edvard Munch's "The Scream". It has never been explained what the scream was, but "The sameness! The sameness!" would've been my guess.

After all, we're all made of the same stuff, and while every caveman aspired to a bigger and better cave than his Neanderthal neighbour, which he then decorated with rock paintings and kept cosy with a fire and animal hides, there must've come a time when he just wanted to scream "The sameness! The sameness!" and chuck it all in and run off.

Of all the cities in the world, domesticity can be the worst of all, and for over twenty years I kept away from rock paintings and never kept animal hides. Unencumbered, I could always chuck it all in and run off again.

Then "Riverbend" happened and I've been busy collecting rock paintings and animal hides - and books! - until, thirty years later, I look around me in horror and feel like screaming "The sameness! The sameness!"

 

Death of an honest Salesman

 

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His name is not Willy Loman, and he was not about to commit professional suicide by continuing with his full disclosure that "there is past termite damage in the house (from approx. 11 years ago)". Everything else still reads the same: the "Spacious Layout", the "Generous Living Areas", and the "Stylish Finishes". As for the past termite damage, let the buyer beware!

"Riverbend" may never sell and I may never return to Far North Queensland, but a more recent dream was a possible relocation to Bomaderry just north of Nowra. This very ordinary little town (with an equally ordinary but much bigger town just across the Shoalhaven River) suits me as, after a somewhat less than ordinary life, I like to lose myself amongst ordinary people. What makes it attractive to me is its railway station which would allow me to just jump on a train and get away for a day and be back home for dinner - and all for a senior's fare of $2.50 which is the only government concession they give me in my old age.

 

Bomaderry railway station

 

35 Tarawara Street is just 700 metres from the train station, making it the perfect launch pad for an old train lover like me. Every other place that close to the station sells within weeks but this property has been looking for a buyer since it was listed in September, first at $699,000, then with a big price reduction to $625,000 and the added termite damage warning.

Honesty is not a real estate salesman's greatest strength, and so the warning disappeared within days of being listed. I was just in time to see it appear and then disappear again. Not that it makes any difference to me, as I'm still stuck here at "Riverbend", although "stuck" is perhaps the wrong word as I'm being told by some people that I would be foolish to sell up and leave such a perfect place, to which I reply, "I just love trains".

 

P.S. The removal of the termite warning worked: it sold in November 2024 for $580,000.